The loom of the Imposter.

It’s here, it’s there, it’s every f****** where — the Imposter.

Not one to bring expletive football singsongs into my words of wizardry, but that particular terrace chant felt quite apt to start a discussion around the loomy, shadowy concept of Imposter Syndrome.

I know, I know. You’re sitting there thinking: “How the hell does Dave Cool Callaghan have Imposter Syndrome? He’s one of the suavest, most charismatic and well established people I know.”

(Just trying to find the specific source for above quote. It definitely was said by a real person).

I agree; it’s hard being this balanced all the time. I present myself very quiet, unassuming, and not opinionated in the slightest — an introvert, if you will (Enter irony).

But even the coolest of cats have their issues to wrestle. Let me talk you through it.

Usually felt most in the workplace, in my experience, Imposter Syndrome consists of double doubting, overthinking, constant internal questioning, it really is quite the ride. A lack of belonging, feeling like a fraud, you’re going to be caught out sooner rather than later. Shall I continue?

It can happen anywhere, anyhow. Usually around the time of a well-deserved payrise or promotion, where you’re now playing with the big boys.

That fear is hard to evade, and sooner rather than later you fear the big boys will be onto you.

But who’s to say they’re not going through their own trials and tribulations? It can happen to absolutely anyone, you’d be surprised.

That’s the thing you see — all these big titles, big characters and personalities, and you think you’re the only one going through it. Nonsense.

The majority of ‘big boys’ I’ve spoken to over the years have confessed to “faking it until they’re making it”, and still trying to figure out life, careers, relationships, balance. Hearing this from a top dog who ‘appears’ set always brings a sense of relief, empathy, understanding, joy in a way, that I’m not mad for thinking how I think. You/we are one of many.

And sometimes, well, most of the time, you’ve got to try and use imposter syndrome to your advantage. Only you are in your head, no one else, right? So only you know what you’re thinking, not the Director from across the table, or the demanding client barking orders from their Hawaii honey shack.

You can take control of it, take charge of it, and use that sense of not feeling worthy and deserving to fuel what you can actually do and achieve to prove yourself wrong.

And you will. You’ll surprise yourself. I have.

It’s a platform to keep you on your toes, making sure you’re never slipping into complacency or even thinking you can actually add ‘big boy’ to your title. I make light of it, but when you’re going through it, it can be crippling and a huge life sized blockade when trying to crack on with the apparent undeserving promotion, or differing life choice.

It’s not something that goes away. Not from my own experience anyway. It’s just something to deal with, on a daily, weekly, monthly basis, whenever it fancies rearing its ugly head.

But that’s all it is — a mechanism and attempt to keep you grounded. Nobody can physically see it, so we must take control of it at all costs and use it to keep going in the right direction, because we’re feeling this way for a reason, so whatever we’re doing is working. Otherwise we wouldn’t have Imposter Syndrome in the first place, would we?

Challenging yourself — going for that promotion, changing careers, quitting your career, moving to a bigger house, becoming a parent, taking on something that’s completely out of your comfort zone. All of these factors are good, great things to do; if it’s the right thing to do for you.

And all of them, if they’re something that feels big and monumental to do, will bring a certain level of anxiety and imposter syndrome. Because they’re brand new, you’ve never done them before, and it’s stretching you to develop and grow as a person. But isn’t that fucking great? Who wants to settle for less?

Keep pushing, lean into the fear and remember who you are, man. Because I will: I’m David Joseph Paul Dominic Irish Aston Villa Hip Hop Callaghan. And I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. But I’m having a fantastic and anxious imposter syndrome rollercoaster of a time finding out. Come join me in the theme park.

All bless, no stress.