Let’s have a conversation, shall we?

I’m attempting to write about a topic that, for some reason, most men still find hard to admit and say out loud: that they’ve been struggling lately.

For a kid who’s never usually scared to talk about everything and anything, I do feel a bit of a walking contradiction. Why? I seem to find it harder the older I get to open up and really let people know I might not be in a good place. Or I’m not really the usual charismatic Callaghan they’ve come to know and love.

Yes, the people expect Charismatic Callaghan.

Even before attempting this ‘blog’, or writing a few words, the first initial impostering thoughts are: “Bloody hell Dave, you enjoy putting yourself out there don’t you, are you sure about this?”.

But I don’t think I’m doing this for me.

Yes, I enjoy writing, but I want to write about this subject in an attempt to help others who might be feeling in a similar position, and not thinking they can speak up about it. Whether that’s friends, family, and any of my fans of course. I’m here for you all.

And no, this isn’t to garner an outpouring of love and support to come my way. It’s something I’ve toyed with writing about for years, as I’m intrigued by the tabooed, unspoken assumption that men actually speaking out about how they’re doing is something that just shouldn’t happen. And by doing so, they’d therefore be seen as a weak individual.

But we all know what the worst case scenario could be if men didn’t come forward and speak when they needed to. It’s not worth thinking about.

Navigating the trials and tricks of life, and feeling overwhelmed about things, shouldn’t be classed as suffering with mental health. Isn’t it a case of just being a human being, and going through several hundred different emotions and feelings a day? Or is that just me being a Callaghan and no one else can relate?

Not every day, week or month is rosy, and things can feel heavy. I’ve been overwhelmed recently with huge life changes coming my way, questioning if I’m doing enough towards friends, family, wife, work, planning ahead. And then just the small matter of surviving what feels like the most negative and pessimistic period generally the world has faced in my 33 years.

It doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon. I mean, none of us need heating anyway, do we?

Does it make me any less of a man putting a few words to paper and saying I’ve found the last couple months hard work? I don’t think so. If anything, I probably should have done it sooner.

There’s plenty of lads I know who’ve been in similar situations. I’m proud of them for speaking about it, and I hope they’ve felt that I’ve been there. I know how hard it can be to see the light and only focus on the short-term, when in reality there’s absolutely loads to look forward to in the long-term.

But when you’re in that moment and everything is on top of you, I know firsthand it’ll stay like that until you speak out about it.

Communication is absolutely key in everything we do. It’s the breakdown in most friendships and relationships, can be a barrier at work, and even a bigger barrier in your own head if you feel unable to communicate what’s going on.

But of course, it’s never the easiest to talk out. I get it, why would you want to go and burden someone with YOUR problems, when they have several problems of their own to figure out. But I think you’d be pleasantly surprised with how much help is actually out there once that door is opened.

Anyone who knows me, knows I write better than I speak, hard to believe I know. So writing about this in a way, is probably easier for me to get my points across, rather than attempting to articulate in a Black Country dialect.

I’m in a good place, but for sure there will be future ups and downs again, that literally is life. We’ve gotta’ talk it out and work through it. I just hope that anyone reading this, lads in particular, know that by not sharing and halving a problem with someone else is more than likely always going to end up doing more harm than good.

I’m not saying out of everyone, you need to speak to me. Of course, you can, my door is always open. But do speak to someone, you have no idea how much better you’ll feel.

There’s a lot of pressure and expectation on young men that doesn’t get spoken about enough. So let’s start speaking about it, shall we?